Coke cans and celandines

Coaching clients often ask me how they can help a child to be more confident. 

There are lots of ways of course, but in my view, one of the most important is to give your child some positive feedback. 

When they show you something they’re unsure about, school work, or perhaps something they’ve made, it’s very easy to notice the flaws first, especially when they’re glaringly obvious!

It happens to adults too

I’ll never forget, many years ago,  going for a walk with my previous OH, looking for the first spring flowers in the lane.  I spotted a celandine, bravely flowering, its petals shining out against the dark green of its leaves. The sight of this flower made my day.

‘Oh look!  A celandine!’ I exclaimed.

‘Yes, but look at the coke can next to it!’  he growled.


I was mortified.

I hadn’t even spotted the wretched coke can. 

His one remark spoilt the thrill of finding that solitary flower. I was totally deflated

So, next time your child presents you with something they’re  excited about, don’t mention their ‘coke can.’ 

Simply notice their ‘celandine’. 

And then tell them how beautiful it is.


1 Comment

Filed under Confidence Coaching, failure, progress, success

One response to “Coke cans and celandines

  1. Pingles

    OH? What does it stand for, or have I missed it on a previous post? It’s funny because sometimes he could be quite insightful. But mostly not xxx

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