No-one likes confrontation.
It makes us uncomfortable.
It can make us afraid.
So we avoid it.
Because …it’s easier.
Because …we hate raised voices.
Because …we want to be liked.
Because… you fill in the blank…
We must Face It. We must learn to be assertive.
Assertiveness means finding the inner strength to tackle annoying/distressing/irritating behaviours.
HOW DO YOU DO THAT?
don’t be a door mat!
think carefully about what exactly you want to be different
if it helps, write down what you want to say
say what you want to happen
suggest how this could be done
You have a very demanding mother/father/ sibling. They expect you to be at their beck and call.
They play ‘the victim’ saying they can’t manage without your help/visits/taking them shopping/doing their housework/solving their problems.
Tell him/her how you feel.
‘I feel overwhelmed by all that you ask me to do.’
Tell them what you want.
‘I’d like you to stop expecting me to do so much for you.’
Tell them how this will happen.
‘I will visit you every …, and I can do … for you. But I am unable to do… ‘
Be prepared for :
Don’t enter into a discussion or explanation. Simply repeat your statements with a smile.
‘If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.’