‘It’s all too much…’
‘I’ll never be able to…’
‘I’m so scared…’
Fear attacks us all.
It’s part of life.
Somehow it always seems far worse at night.
After writing about Night Fears yesterday, I’ve been thinking
and this is my Positive Spin on facing your fears.
Fear thrives in the dark.
It can be whatever it wants to be because we can’t see it.
It can take any form, any shape.
It can fill our minds with nightmarish imaginings and they multiply.
One fearful thought leads to another and before we know it we’re rigid, stuck, unable to face any of it.
we turn on the light.
As soon as we do that, fear cannot cope.
It shrinks, disappears, scuttles away into the corners where it thinks the light can’t go…
Light tells the truth.
It shows us how it is, not how we imagine it is. It makes everything clear, shows every detail. We can see the way we should go.
We’re no longer stuck.
In the darkness we say –
- What if…
- I can’t…
- How can I…
- I might not…
- It might mean…
But when we ‘turn on the light’ we can say…
- What’s the worst that can happen?
- I can…
- I might be able to…
- Tell me more about…
- All I need to do is…
- Could you help me to…
Here’s my Positive Spin on the problem.
How to face your fears when you’re too afraid to try.
1. Be clear about what fear is.
Fear is an emotional response to a perceived threat.
Notice the word perceived.
We all have different perceptions of fear. I’m not afraid of clowns, others are!
What we need to do is reduce the perceived threat and the fear will reduce also.
Unless we accept that we’re afraid we can’t begin to face the fear.
Say it out loud. To the cat. To the dog. You could even write it down.
3. Turn on the light.
By this I mean, see it for what it actually is, not how you imagine it is. Stare your fear in the face. Decide to face it.
4. Gather support. Share the fear…shrink the fear.
There are many ways to do this –
- google the problem,
- phone a friend/fellow sufferer,
- talk to your GP/other half/mentor,
- ask your family to help you.
5. Take some action today, however small.
The longer we put it off the larger our fear grows. You can say, ‘I don’t want to think about this right now. I’ll have another glass of wine…’
But tomorrow the fear will have morphed into a much larger fear. It won’t simply ‘go away’. It’ll lurk in the dark corners of your mind.
With every ‘small’ action you will watch the fear start to shrink.
As Dr Phil says,
‘If you want different you must do different.’
Dr Phil McGraw ‘Life Strategies.’
Last week I saw a challenge on Problogger. As a newish blogger I immediately felt out of my depth, uncomfortable, incapable of taking the challenge. Others might be able to do it but not me.
Then, over on Jean’s Virgin Blogger Notes, I read her post about the challenge. Suddenly, I didn’t feel so alone. Gradually I began to face it, to at least try. The result was the post I wrote two days ago.
Jean read it and gave me the compliment of leaving a comment.
I faced the fear, albeit a small one to some, but I perceived it as large.
I faced my fear when I was too afraid to try and learnt a great deal about myself in the process.
It’s the same for you!
Whatever your fear is, small or large, just face it.
I know it works.
What fears have you faced?
What fears will you face, now that you’re not too afraid to try?